i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
