sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
