suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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