i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
