WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
