Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
