yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
