but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
