i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
