The brown eye won't let me do that either.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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