my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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