I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Randomize
