Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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