i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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