just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize