we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
My vagina just recognized that song.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
So much rum. So many feels.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Randomize
