Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
