What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
