not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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