Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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