shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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