He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
She bit a glass in half.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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