I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize