Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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