I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize