M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
