i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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