You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
the liver wants what the liver wants
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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