People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
