Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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