I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
