The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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