And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
