Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
