how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
