Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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