I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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