If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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