I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
The beers last night were like the tears from god
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize