she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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