one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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