THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
