It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I think i got beer on your cat.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
