you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Randomize
