dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
bring money and cleavage
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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