my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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