When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
