kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
