you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Randomize