Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I lost the right to judge tonight
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize