it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
