Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
We just shotgunned beers for America
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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