Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
