so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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