i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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