Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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