I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
