what if every blade of grass was a penis?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
