fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Randomize
