i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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