I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
